Twenty years ago my concerns was growth on the outside: Money, prestige, and catching the elusive rainbows of shiny happiness. It is by chasing, I believe, that I missed the moments. I missed my "reason we are here" moments for lack of a better metaphor. So arriving at this new station in life I allow David to enjoy the rainbow in all it's splendor. Rather than mourning the fading sun, I now marvel in awe at it's magnificent glory.
Three catamarans sail in my view as I write this. Now there are 6 multi coloured sails in my view. Awesome!
Old world David would not have noticed or cared. Today I note the colours of their sales, and admire the sailors technical ability to tack in these Caribbean winds.
Reading Ian Brown's "Sixty" in this oasis is enlightening and appropriate. So much has gob smacked at once. Many lines in this book are worth re-reading as well as retelling to Mary in our short time on this Island paradise.
"Sorrow is the rust of the soul. and regret is the oxygen that makes it".
Holy Fuck!
"Everyone experiences the exfoliation of the remembered soul at a different rate, and in a different way"
Wow!
I honestly feel the book this book is worthy of purchasing a paper copy (I am on a tablet), so I can re read whilst making liner notes.
"...this is what I long to be, as I head into the late innings: Less hidden, less afraid, more naked, less ashamed. I want to wear my fragility on my body - not just my so-called need, but my intentions, and my doubts about those doubts, and the laughable wobbliness of my progress n all things. I want to be human and complex, more that I want to be right and clear".
Yes, yes, yes!
Just past lunch on Day 5 here, as I finish "Sixty". Feeling more comfortable about my doubts about my doubts, and more secure in my decisions to be less afraid and less ashamed about them. The air here in Cayo Coco has a sleep tonic effect on me. Even after a day which has me polishing off 4 cappuccinos, I sleep like a baby from 9 pm to 6 am. Sleep for the most part here is uninterrupted, which is odd for me. Unusual when at home. Just to go 9 hours without a pee is wonderful!
There is a feeling I have of internal discovery. Reading "Sixty". Being in the moment. Paying attention to the moment. Noticing what I notice. More today than ever in my past.
The growth of my Joy is in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectation.
It's time for my afternoon siesta, then a wander to get a superb Café con leche.
Namaste!
David
2 comments:
This is very thought provoking, made me stop and think. Thanks for sharing this, it's powerful in its entirety. I never gave much thought to my purpose here on earth as a young wife and mother. I was blessed with three beautiful kids, and that was my WHOLE life. I wanted to be the BEST mother ever! They're grown now, so I would have to ask them how I did...again. LOL
I've been a nature watcher since I could walk, thanks to my daddy. I love watching the changing colors of leaves on trees as seasons change. An odd colored rock captures me in the blink of an eye. Sky watching keeps me mesmerized for as long as I am outside.
I have hundreds of pictures I've taken of clouds, and sunsets are nature's therapy for me. A beautiful sunset does more for me than anything a doctor could prescribe. Good gosh a-mighty, look at me going on and on...writing a blog post on your comments.
Just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog and let you know I enjoyed reading your post.
Very nice post. What a wonderful place to be, physically and spiritually.
Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. I've just begun thinking of starting to blog, and now my iPad doesn't recognize I have a blog. I can read my blog, but for some reason I cannot blog from it or my phone!!! I just don't break out he laptop that much. I hope I can remedy this.
My best
Annie
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