Monday, March 30, 2009

The Way My Brain Works On Special Occasions Mystefies Me.

So it is the big "Happy Birthday Guitar Boy day" and I may or may not have messed up already!
So aware of the day, and making it special especially in light of recent events, it was first and foremost in my mind all last week, and took precidence over all other sceduled events.
It dominated my thoughts and grocery planning.

My cleaning and laundry was based on the day arriving Monday, and I wanted to ensure I gave his day my undivided attention.

I planned the dinner.
Made sure I had all the ingredients for the menu.
I did all the pre-work on the Cherry Chip cake, including one trial run that was good enough to donate to a neighbour. (I don't need to eat cake two nights in row. Trust me. My 176 Lbs of ideal weight for my frame and height has crept up and is dangerously approaching the 180 mark.)

Cards and gift of course was done ages ago, and set in ready position for the day.

I booked his Nan to share in cake and tea after dinner.

So rise and shine time arrives this morning, and I head to his room to give him the ever so gentle "Morning little buddy. How was your sleep" routine that gets him up and in shower.
After his shower was done, I went to his bathroom to remind him of a couple of "housekeeping" items for the day.

"Dan, don't forget you have a dentist appointment today at 4, after school. I will meet you at home at 3:45 and drive you there"

"I know Dad, I remember" he scowls at me.

"And after Diner I invited Nan for cake and tea."

"Ok Dad, that works" he responds with a smile, knowing full well that it will be only a few painful minutes for a fifteen year old boy with his 85 year old Nan, but the reward will be a bunch of cash in a card.

"Oh, and Thursday this week, do not make plans. We have dinner at friends" I advise

"OK Dad. Anything else?"

"No, that's pretty much today, and the rest of the week is business as usual. I might go for a run on Wednesday night, but only for a 5 K slow one. No plans for weekend, so go ahead and book what you have to" I continue.

He is blow drying his hair at this point, and trying to be polite and not say "OK can I go now Mr. Schedule Man?" although that is the look I am getting at this point.

"Is that it?"he snorts and try's to blow me away, (literally using his blow drier) so he can get ready for school sans interruptions.

"Yea, that's it. Have a great one Buddy, and try not to do what I did in school" I say grinning.

"Bye Dad" and he flashes me his traditional ASL sign for I love you.

In the car I get, briefcase loaded, mug of "Morning Thunder" nicely tucked in cup holder, and off I go.

I replay the morning in my head.

"Holy Shit! I know today is his birthday, because that is all that I thought about/planned about/obsessed about....for the last three weeks" I scream to myself at the 12 K mark away from house.

"I forgot to tell him Happy Birthday! Give him card! Give him gift!" at this point I am screaming at myself in traffic. Fortunately I have my cochlear in and on of course, and the stares I am getting from fellow motorists just assume I am talking on Bluetooth.

Yelling actually at this point.

I grab phone and break my rule about using a cell when driving.
This is a case for rule breaking.

No answer. He has left for school

I try his cell.
Turned off!
He is diligent about turning off his phone in school.
"Dam his diligence!" I scream at the drivers staring at me.

So here I type trying to figure out if his "...anything else Dad" questions, were a kick at my scatter brained "aware it is your birthday. Planned this day for weeks actually. But at this moment the words Happy Birthday have failed me" space that I found myself in this morning.

So here I sit in my office.

My 15 year old sits in Computer tech class right about now, and I wonder if he is wondering about the way my brain works. How can you talk about something daily and the day of; not talk about it?

So I am right now texting apologies every 10 minutes or so, hoping that if and when he fires up his Motorola Rockr, they will come flying it and save my ass on this one.

I will not fail at the cake!

I will remember Christmas morning to say "Merry Christmas"




bobbie said...

Oh, Dave, we all do it. He will forgive you, if forgiveness is required. It could be quite logical that you were saving the gift and Happy Birthday for cake time.

Tell him all your unknown friends from blogland wish him a happy day too!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

giggles been there done that several times... and I have a motorola rocker Great phone! He will forgive you LOL hugs and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN!

Life As I Know It Now said...

When he sees the cake he will know you haven't forgotten about him at all so don't worry.

Pseudo said...

The crap side of routines, yes? You can make it seemed like you did it on purpose to mess with him so the afternoon is all the better by contrast...

Sylvia K said...

Bobbie is right, we all do it and I have no doubt that he knows and if needed would forgive you just as I know that he knows how much you love him. And also like Bobbie, please tell him Happy Birthday from all those unknown ones in blogland. You're a wonderful, caring and loving Father and I have no doubt that he knows that just as we do! Don't beat up on yourself!

lisahgolden said...

Maybe he's expecting a big surprise? Thinking you're pretending to "forget" his birthday?

Either way, I'm sure he'll forgive.

And boy does that sound like the kind of thing I would do. (Let's blame the oil and naked prancing shall we?)

Kerry said...

Ahh..all this means is you are human. Hey I'm a parent and have done it ..and had everything else in order for a great Birthday. So I would sneak in a *Happy Birthday Message on his phone..or text one if you know how. Phones off but still can grab his messages after he turns the phone on :)
He sees you have it all when he gets home he will know you have not forgotten!
Now have a great day and enjoy that cake.

Tom Hannon said...


foolery said...

There will be people Dan encounters at school who tell him "happy birthday" right away. He may get noogies, arm punches, and maybe -- GADZOOKS! -- even a kiss. But those are empty compared to seeing how much planning his dad has gone to on his behalf. So much planning that he drove the actual greeting right out of his brain. Empty in comparison, Dave!

Well, except maybe for the kiss. ;)

Enjoy your special evening, and noogies and arm punches to your special 15-year-old Guitar Boy.

-- Laurie @ Foolery

Chris H said...

I am sure he's not bothered by your 'omission'... he knows you have a lot on your plate mate!

themom said...

I don't mean to laugh, but as a parent, we have all done this. But after copious amounts of apologies and possibly a bigger present - the child forgives! Enjoy the cake and....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN!

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Been there, done that -- and didn't even text the kid afterwards. He'll be fine. :)

Happy Birthday, Dan!!

La Belette Rouge said...

I would go with the big surprise tonight and that you meant not to act like you knew it was his birthday.

Lori said...

Sometimes no matter how much we plan things don't come out right. It's easy to forget how human we really are until something reminds so. Your son will forgive you, especially when he see's all your messages. Happy birthday to your son!

smalltownme said...

Happy Birthday, Dan! I'm sure it all worked out.

Kay Dennison said...

Awwwwwwww shucks, Dave!!!!!!!! You're human! You don't have to be perfect!!!! I'm sure Dan will forgive you when he sees his cake and gifts. And oh yeah, give the Guitar Boy best wishes from moi.

Anonymous said...

I bet you're enjoying cake and tea as I type and that all is well. Happy Birthday Dan!

LegalMist said...

I hope it all turned out well and Guitar Boy's birthday was wonderful...

joanne said...

Happy Birthday Guitar Boy, and's o.k., he probably didn't notice and if he did he'll understand j)

Anonymous said...

haha you made me laugh. You are so lovely. And so is your son. What a pair you are. He won't have been upset at all. I certainly wouldn't have been. I would have assumed it was all part of the grand plan!

Happy birthday, Dan. An Aries like me. I always feel warm towards fellow Arians!

The Old Tarf said...

been there done that and will probably do it again sometime. Seems the more you plan the more often than not you screw up.

Nature Girl said...

A Big Happy Birthday to Dan!!!!
and don't feel so bad...I just did the same thing on Tuesday (last) with my 20 year old...the SAME thing!!!! I'm sure Dan will forgive you...especially the moment that cake hits his tongue! YUM


Sydney said...

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your beloved Janet. I've been following your story for a little over a year now. Your love for her is so apparent. You and your son are in my prayers.

contemporary themes said...

Happy Birthday, Guitar Boy! (I'm late as usual!)

On another note, I sent something your way. Wondering if you received it. The place I ordered it from isn't always consistent about international deliveries. Let me know if you did not get it, so I can contact them.

Blessings to you!

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Anonymous said...

So aware of the day, and making it special especially in light of recent events, it was first and foremost in my mind all last week, and took precidence over all other sceduled events.