I'm not sure, or maybe just don't want to remember, if we had plans for my son when he was small. All I do know for sure is that I wanted him safe and to have a decent life. If he chose being in trouble with the law as opposed to going to school so he could defend the law, then I may of had issues. But ultimately anything he chose to do in life, I thought, would suit me.
Expectations are funny things. We all want the best for our kids, and many of "us" parents go out of our way in extremes to make sure they have the best.
Our son lives with his girlfriend in a small town house, has a 8 week old baby, takes the bus to work and shop, drives a fork lift, in a paint warehouse, plays guitar when he can, and seems happy!
He did not finish college (another story for another life lesson blog post) and floated through high school despite my lectures on applying oneself.
Hockey sticks and basketballs were not his bag much to my chagrin. Guitars and MP3 players are where my retirement income lies for the most part, which is my bad. Only me to blame. But you know what? Beating myself up for being a "Bad Dad" by giving him too much latitude many times does nothing. The Boy is happy as a pig in shit; giddy as a school boy most days!
Dearly beloved friends; we are gathered here today to get through this life with as little turmoil as we can hope for. We get a lot more than we hope or plan for, so we learn how to cope with these "gifts" that life throws our way. Why do we expect our children to have less crap than we do? Why is it so important to shield our babies from lives 83 daily problems?
Do what we can, then when we get a bit of time and bit wiser, we do the best we can. If our kids feel as if we owe them more we can only hope that there exists a big hard drive that recorded all the times we bundled up at 5 am to go to the rink/hill/pond/river to give them some life saving wonderful stuff. The hard drive may show the sacrifices that made, the opportunities, the time, the money that could of been spent "foolishly" on a shirt for us that we spent on a field trip for them.
So sons and daughters of ours....should you ever put down your self entitilent gadget in your hands and read my ramblings one day, please know that although it was never a cake walk to bring you up to the age of self sufficiency it was a pleasure and a labour of love.