Sunday, April 10, 2016
I'm talking about the "odd sock multiplication" crisis that has enveloped in this household and perhaps this great nation of sock wearers. On my dining room table as I type this, is a bevy of odd black socks that are missing their mates.Tazz, as you will note, is protecting the stash from further erosion.
In a closet a few feet away sits a bag in the dark which may contain up to 140 or more of the same,
Every week day I put on a pair of black socks, and yes there are days that I fight the urge to do so, and run barefoot thru the streets. The other days I sit in a meditative trance trying to find the "right pair" that "feels" good enough to tackle the day. Don't ask. It is a curse of mine which every analyst, therapist, and psychiatrist have raised their eye brows when I mention my "sock" issue.
But I digress. Issue at hand is in a 7 day week from October to Mid May, 7 pair of socks are worn, removed and placed to wait their fate in the washing and drying cycle. Seven pair go in, 12 odd single socks are retrieved.
Many a theory has been bantered about the mystery of socks disappearing. From the worm hole theory, to the crack in the universe story where socks go to escape the winters in Canada. This is a crisis that plagues countless of us weekly, and we should not waste any more time in discovering a way to end this. If indeed a mirror universe exists, we should work with the Samsung's and Maytag's of the manufacturing world, and ask their top brains how they discovered the route to another world.
What is it like in this place? Why do they just take our socks and not our tighty whitey underwear? Why do my old man strapped white t shirts always return? How can we get them to show interest in the ugly sweater that Mom gave us years ago? If their taste is so much better than ours, I want to visit them!
This could be an inexpensive, yet delightful vacation!
Maytag? Samsung? Get your boys on this. I have to go thru the bag of socks again to try and get as close as I can to matching dye lots of fifty shades of black socks.